last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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