I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
