let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
