remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
