thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
vagina is talking i cant
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
