Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
