There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
