I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
