I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
