dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
