I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Randomize
