This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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