WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I should be sponsored by Trojan
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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