Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
babies were throwing up all over the place
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
