Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
We got so high we made milksteak
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
