Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
he laminated a picture of his dick.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Someone came in the potted fern
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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