We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize