Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
We were destined to go to rehab together
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Randomize
