I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I forgot how hot balto sounded
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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