i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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