I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Randomize
