Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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