Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
