As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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