Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Who put my cat in the fridge?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
