"it" just moved
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize