I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Randomize
