I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
