I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
