just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
How does it feel to date your dad?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
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