why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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