lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
