Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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