The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
