Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
