You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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