you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
