I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
