Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
