i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
