A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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