it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
