i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
