maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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