Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
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