this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
