oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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