Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
