he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
