Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
