didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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