Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
