I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
