Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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