You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
