My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
