I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
