Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
How's work?
Spinning.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Your cock deserves a montage
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
