Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
